Opinion needed? Or not so much?

Today I thought about the importance to have an opinion.
I'm one of these people who thinks a lot about random things, and is then quick to build an opinion and is not afraid to mout it.
Even though I am sometimes a little too quick with that, it is often my first feeling about a subject that stays with me (I like that concept, that the first thing you feel is often the real thing you feel).

But how important is it to always have an opinion about everything?
When someone doesn't have a stance on an (IMHO) important subject, I do often catch myself thinking "doesn't that person spend any time discovering what they believe in? Do they know themselves that little?"
Again, this is me being quick in building an opinion (woah, word of the day!).

So? Do you need an opinion on everything? Do you feel ashamed when someone asks your opinion and you don't have one? I'm thinking, thinking, thinking...

Book: Broken

Until that fateful afternoon, Skunk Cunningham had been a normal little girl, innocently playing on the kerb in front of her house. Rick Buckley had been a normal friendless teenager, proudly washing his brand-new car. And Bob Oswald had been a normal sociopathic single father of five wild daughters, charging furiously down the pavement. Then Bob was beating Rick to a bloody pulp, right there in the Buckley's driveway, and life on Drummond Square was never the same again.

This is the blurb from Daniel Clay's amazing novel, Broken, which might be the best study of the Butterfly Effect to date.
The events described above give the starting signal to a series of events that are so horrible, so funny, so unbelievable and yet so real it is alarmingly easy to relate to them.
The main focus lies on the three families involved in the drama on Drummond Square: the Cunninghams, which you will soon enough consider the "normal" family in this book; the Oswalds, a family so horrible and real and disgusting it is pain and masochistic pleasure in one to read about them; and the Buckleys, the family around Rick - who is later nicknames "Broken Buckley", which are struck by something you can only describe as a psychological curse - Rick can't cope with the violence that has been inflicted on him and goes, for lack of a better word, crazy.

As well as showing a great example of the Butterfly Effect ("a butterfly farts somewhere and a hundred miles away an avalanche kills a hundred people"), this book also has an interesting take on the, let's call it "A-bomb syndrome". In all its terror, this first stepping out of line (here done by Bob Oswald) is by far not the worst thing to happen in this book. I'll try not to give too much away, but the book does end with several people dead - and still, in the end, everybody involved can say "not my fault", because it is only the mix of all these different people taking action that leads the final mess.

Tom Boncza-Tomaszewski from the Independent said: "Read this book; don't run away from it", and with that he basically takes the biscuit - yes, this story is scary and brutal and maybe will make you doubt your own morals - but isn't that a good thing? If a writer is so strong that you - well, me - don't know if you're able to "pick a side".
Maybe this is why this book hits so close to home for me - because I do often feel like I have to pick sides, when all you should really do is stand by and watch things unfold.
Then again, Broken might even prove you wrong about that.

Methinks

Sadness is like a crash course in psychology.
- enjoy it while it lasts.

Let The Sun Shine

I've been feeling a little down the last couple of weeks, but today I was standing in the kitchen, drinking coffee and looking out, and suddenly I felt the few rays of sunshine outside reflect the rays of hope I've been hoping to see for the past couple of days.

The thing about me feeling bad is that I always have to remind myself of just how bad it can get - which is easy - but also how good it can be - which is harder, because if you're sad, feeling happy is such a surreal thing to think of.

So after - stupidly - hoping that shadow in my head would leave on its own for a couple of days, I kind of got out of my own body yesterday, looked at the situation, and just thought: "So what? Are you gonna keep analysing that bad feeling or are you going to do something about it?".
Then I remind myself that giving up - well, giving in - is not really an option and that helps immensely.

Another huge step towards feeling better is acceptance. I've really accepted now that this feeling I sometimes get is something I have to live with, maybe for the rest of my life, but I also realized that that's okay, because I'm stronger than my own mind.

So I'll go out into the world and feel the positivity about everything good that happens to me, and I'll stop thinking in worst case scenarios.

Always remember: Your pain can only hurt you as long as you don't say: stop. This is mine. My decision and actions are what count. And I'm going to win.

POSITIVITY! YAY! (:

"Claire" and "Peter" are dunzo ):

Heroes' Hayden Panettiere and Milo Ventimiglia have split up.
Which I guess confirms that Panettiere is leaving the show.

I wouldn't want to be in the writer's position, I have to admit.
Killing off the female main character, who just so happens to be an ass kicking, re-gen Cheerleader?
That's gonna be a challenge!

Thursday Miracle

I am not a very believing person. I guess you could say I'm an Atheist. I believe in Evolution, Science, you know, the boring stuff.

So, I'm doing pretty good these days, you know, emotion-wise. I'd actually say I'm doing great. I'm at a great place in my life: my friends are lovely, hilarious and rising in numbers, because of all the great people I'm meeting in my new age-group level (is that the word?); my family is awesome, and I'm about to see my aunt, uncle and cousins again, which is always great; I'm closer to a very important person in my life than I think I've ever been before - mainly doing lazy stuff, but doing on a level that is so beautiful and relieving and inspiring beyond words.

But for a long time there's been that issue about how I might not finish my driver's license in time, and might have to start from the beginning, which would disappoint some people a lot. Hell, it would disappoint me.

So imagine the little bundle of joy building up inside me when just half an hour ago I found out that I do not have to get my license finished by the end of February - I've got time 'til June.

And I'm not planning on slacking, but this is the most relieving feeling ever.

And something like this, having a burden taken off me that has been standing in the way of all things good for a long time, makes me wonder if, maybe, there is someone there.
You know, as in, somewhere, somehow, there's someone looking out for me.

And to that person, or being, whatcha might call it, I just want to say:

thank you thank you thank you

"Helping those in need's my job"

Spike: [as Rachel] How can I thank you, you mysterious black-clad hunk of a night thing?
Spike: [as Angel] No need, little lady, your tears of gratitude are enough for me. You see, I was once a badass vampire, but love and a pesky curse defanged me. And now, I'm just a big, fluffy puppy with bad teeth. No, not the hair. Never the hair.
Spike: [as Rachel] But there must be some way I can show my appreciation?
Spike: [as Angel] No, helping those in need's my job, and workin' up a load of sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is truly thanks enough.
Spike: [as Rachel] I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...
[gasps]
Spike: [as Angel] Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that nancy-boy hair-gel I like so much. Quickly, to the Angel-mobile, away.